Tonight again, I lie awake

Keeping still and breathing softly,

Sleepless in the growing dark,

Feeling of a deepening ache.


We spoke “transitions” yesterday.

I don’t know what this pulsing means;

Tension mounting, throbbing pain;

I wish it all would go away.


Change becomes its own misery,

Holding too tightly to the past,

This pulse is transformation-

The pang of birthing this new me.

Jamie Bagley