I Wait
“They who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength...”
This was part of Monday’s Lectio Divina passage from Isaiah 40. I have continued to ponder it this week. Life can hand us some challenging circumstances. And you know that whole idea of resistance rearing its head when you’re on the right track, minding your business. Bam! (As the comic books would say.) Suddenly all things are pointing you straight to the idea that giving up, quitting, shutting down, or doing an about face would all be the wisest course of action.
I've had that feeling since yesterday. What am I doing? What do I have to offer? Why am I talking about stability when I am so certainly lacking? All the resistance tactics. Who am I to believe my shared thoughts and experiences can change the world? For all the things I can do, or that I’m good at doing, there’s likely someone better and faster and more sure of themselves.
When I hear my friends say something to this effect, I rally to encourage them. “No one can say it like you. No one sees from your angle. Your message is not flat or one-sided; it’s a part of a whole, and a necessary one.” Then that voice comes to visit me, and it’s another story.
I start looking left and right. I start listening around. I scroll through my Twitter feed, eyes glazing over. Bombarded with every opinion. Every expert observation. Every scandal. Every Thing-That-Is-Wrong with the world. The result is overwhelm. I have written a quasi-haiku, (because it's not about nature,) to describe the feeling. Maybe you can identify:
Hear the crowd murmur
Tidal wave of rounded sound
My soul wants to flee
It is obvious my strength has run out; my stores are depleted. Burnout is nigh. Or… Maybe it’s not. Maybe I’m just impatient. Maybe today’s inertia is only for today. What if I try this whole “wait for the Lord” thing?
What if I’m not alright today? That’s okay. It has no bearing on tomorrow. Each day, there are new mercies. So for now, I rest. Strength in due course, perhaps not as it is commonly defined, but as my soul most needs it; I trust it will be renewed. I will let tomorrow be what it will. A story of grace. My story.
Mercy is coming. Today, I wait.
Read the rest of the 31 Days of Stability series here.
Linking up with Marvia Davidson for #RealTalk.