Stability Confessions

Stability takes creativity. It’s an important concept I have thought about lately. It takes learning how to manage resources. It takes learning how to manage the self. It takes learning how to find the way up when life foils my plans and tosses me about.

I have to confess, even though I know a lot of my purpose and calling, and have practical ways to live it out, there are still some days I lose focus. I fall into wondering what it’s all for or if it’s even for anything at all or just some pointless attempt to assign significance to my life.

Some days I am flailing in the space between dreams and reality, where it seems the gap is widening instead of closing. Everything that I have figured out is forgotten or no longer makes sense. It’s just me and my naked soul, with no proverbial fig leaf in sight.

“Who am I, again?”

But when I am face to face with this challenge, there is still a small fire burning inside. A fire that compels me to keep going. An inner witness of something greater than me but also part of me. It’s a glimpse of what we may like to call the big picture.

When I feel like my purpose is slipping, I can see it as a call to action instead of despair. When I feel like my purpose is slipping, I can cultivate that inner fire by being creative. Even though it takes discipline and work, it is restful to my spirit.

Yes, this week I’ve been smack in the middle of that “who am I” zone. So this weekend, I’m pushing back with acts of creativity like the poetic image below. That’s my stability-recovery plan. Hold me to it?

Read the rest of the 31 Days of Stability series here.

Jamie Bagley