Is There A Place For Anger?

I've been pondering this a long time: Why am I a feelings suppressor? I think a good part of the answer is that it has been made socially unacceptable, especially for women, because we run the risk of being labeled "hysterical" or "hormonal" instead of "passionate for justice" and "empathic" which is much closer to the truth.

If you hop on over to The Angry Women's blog, you can read about the thoughts I've been processing concerning anger and the ways we've been taught to censor and silence ourselves. I'm tired of being afraid of everything. I'm tired of tailoring myself to unspoken social rules. And I'm not alone. Not by far!

Here's an excerpt:

When I’m told to write angry and publish after cooling off, I wonder, is it not okay for anyone to know I had a strong reaction? Is the world a better place for my silence?

I am asking myself if it’s the right thing or if it’s just the way things are, and therefore, open to challenge. I am asking myself if hiding my anger is wise. I am also asking myself what the world would look like if we stopped hiding our anger.

I don’t know the answer, but I can surely see the fear. Oh, the fear! It makes us all “the good girls” doesn’t it? But I know from a personal standpoint that I’d rather look a dragon in the eye than try to ignore it hiding there under that table. I know from personal experience that a suppressed anger is not the same thing as a diffused anger. I still don’t know what the proper channel for diffusing anger might always be, especially when it’s socially engaged and the majority gets to choose what “reasonable” looks like.

I have more questions than answers. I think many of us do. That is why it’s important to talk it out; to create safe spaces to share ideas and, gulp, FEELINGS about how it is to be angry, and what it looks to express anger, and how it can move toward a necessary change.
Jamie Bagley