I did not get a chance to say goodbye to September, so I will take the first day of October to do this. I wanted to participate in the #31Days challenge, but I admit I am frail and prone to distraction and fatigue. It may or may not happen. If it happens, and I hope it will continue, then my focus will be on staying present. Present to my surroundings, present to the cries of my heart, present to the needs of my body. I will try not to run from, drown out, or otherwise squelch the person I am and wish to be. No matter how hard. I will practice stability, by saying yes to the right-now of my life.

For me, September was a significant month because it marked the death of a dream. I spent many days in grief, prayers, and seeking answers. Not many were found, but in the process I found solace in daily praying the hours and spending the mornings in devotional posture. Forward movement cannot be forced, but it can be cultivated. And that is what I am hoping for in October.

Today, I want to share with you a poem that I wrote as a farewell to this dream because it deserves a proper wake. This is my marker, and from this day I will move forward. Slowly, but surely, God help me.

Farewell

To dreams not for me,

Though for a time

I thought they aligned.

Now I see

The light become dark,

A dream snatched away,

Vanishing day.

I feel the loss.

I reach for all

That was already mine,

But the way forward

Is slow going now,

For I am wandering

Without a light in my eyes.

Will you stay

And wait with me

In my pain-

No words to say

No earthly thing to gain-

And show another soul

What it means to matter

Just because I’m alive?

Wishing you peace and hope and a way forward this October.

Love,

Jamie

31 Days of Stability, Day 2: The Truth About Stability

31 Days of Stability, Day 3: Stability And Faith Crises

31 Days of Stability, Day 4: To Unfamiliar Angles

31 Days of Stability, Day 6: Today

31 Days of Stability, Day 8: Stability And Interruptions

31 Days of Stability, Day 9: Stability Of Commitment

31 Days of Stability, poetry prompt: Saying Yes

31 Days of Stability, Day 10: Stability And Dreams

31 Days of Stability, Day 11: Hungry

31 Days of Stability, Day 12: Stability And Making Space

31 Days of Stability, Day 13: Still A Little Shaky

31 Days of Stability, Day 14: Stability And Meditation

31 Days of Stability, Day 15: I Wait

31 Days of Stability, Day 16: Present to the Season: Autumn

31 Days of Stability, Day 17: What To Do At Week's End

31 Days of Stability, Day 18: Be At Rest

31 Days of Stability, Day 19: The Art of Rest

31 Days of Stability, Day 20: Stability and the Hospitality Dream

31 Days of Stability, Day 21: Stability in the Midst of Pain

31 Days of Stability, Day 22: Simply Today

31 Days of Stability, Day 23: Believing In Enough

31 Days of Stability, Day 24: Stability On A Friday?

31 Days of Stability, Day 25: Stability Confessions

31 Days of Stability, Day 26: Dare To Be... Alike?

31 Days of Stability, Day 27: Stability Central

31 Days of Stability, Day 28: Empathy, and the "Choose Yourself" Trend

31 Days of Stability, Day 29: MY BIRTHDAY!!!!! Ahem. I will now compose myself and share the link with you. One Day For Looking Back

31 Days of Stability, Day 30: The Power of Small Deeds

Farewell to September/ 31 Days Intro