Receiving Grace

I give myself permission to receive grace.

I can give and give and give, especially in motherhood and the daily challenges. I have learned how to give well. I am a good helper. Just like I tell my kids when they do a small favor. But I am prone to offering too many favors, and I’m too stubborn to wriggle out of any of them. So I chip away a bit more of my energy every day trying to meet needs- every need but my own.

I spent a few days at a writer’s retreat. This explains my relative silence online. I found refreshment. I found kindred hearts and souls. I discovered what it is like to accept what I need and what I want, though it was still a struggle. Each woman there encouraged me to claim some desires and delights. And I did. It was lovely.

You know how the story goes, though. Upon returning home, there is the “normal” you remember waiting to greet you. And you’re not sure you want that kind of normal anymore. Well, I embraced the reality of what is along with the possibility of what can be. New normal is going to have a few alterations.

So today, I give myself permission to rest. I give myself permission to need. I give myself permission to accept grace.

My husband defends my right to grace every day, because I am prone to dismiss it. I am good at being hard on myself. I am grateful for my husband’s strength, and that he can see my blind spots. I love that he will work to create the space I need to accept grace. And that he wants to because he loves me.

So I also give myself permission to accept this. The truth is I need his tenderness, his gentleness to help me reintegrate. I can be formidable in my stress-induced wrath, yet he doesn’t flee, because he loves me deeply. And this is what love does: Love begets freedom. Freedom brings relief. Relief enables restoration. Restoration produces joy. The progression continues, making life a beautiful gift.

Do you need to accept an offered grace today? Embrace that space that looks like the freedom to be okay, to breathe deeply, and to work gently through the area of stress. Give yourself permission to receive.

I am linking up with Marvia Davidson for her Real Talk Tuesday conversation.